1992 - 1993 A lesson in Trust

When I returned from Australia I went back to temping. I enjoyed the work as I got to go to lots of different places and meet lots of people. I worked on receptions and in offices. I once also worked in an Aerosol factory. It was close to Christmas and things were quiet so I needed the money. I hated that job, the fumes were terrible and I alway felt high when I left. I lasted 3 weeks. In February '93 I was taken on by one of the companies as an accounts assistant.

On my brother's birthday in March 1993 I finally passed my driving test on the fourth attempt. I had been driving since my father taught me to drive a tractor when I was twelve, but I guess those bad habits didn't help me on the road. I had learnt to play trumpet at school and in return for using my father's car he wanted me to join a silver band that his friend conducted. I agreed because I couldn't afford a car and wanted some freedom.

The silver band was an interesting time, there I met a huge mix of people. It wasn't just 'old fogies' as I had imagined. We played the summer fetes and we played carol's in old folks homes at Christmas, but we also played seaside towns. Lyme Regis and Teinmouth were amongst the ones I remember. I used to love these. For the younger members these days out were more of a piss up. We would play a set in the morning on the promenade then have lunch and several beers in the pub. When we returned for the second half I don't think the playing was quite so accurate from certain parts of the band! We would then drink a bit more on the way home, singing awful songs that a certain, not so young rugby playing tuba player taught us. We were eventually banned from drinking on the coach because the oldies complained too much and our playing must have been awful!

I had a bit of a fling with that rugby player. He was a lot older than me and married. I knew his wife and liked her. But I believed his stories that they no longer had a love life, whether it was true or not I don't know. It didn't happen very often and it was never very serious. I watched him play rugby a few times and we spent the night together once. That is one of those things I'm not particularly proud of. But it was me that finished it in the end. I began to like him too much and wasn't about to sit around waiting for him to leave his wife.

I also went back to the guy I had been seeing before I went to Australia. We spent a lot of time in his local pub and I became quite a pool shark. The relationship developed and we became quite serious. My father had taught this guy at school and wasn't particularly keen on him, but never said anything. I began to notice that although when he was sober he was great, when he was drinking he would get quite jealous. He didn't like me talking to other men. It all came to a head one night in the summer of '93. He had a birthday party and we were all drinking for most of the day.

One of the young lads that he worked with was there. I was chatting to him quite a lot that night and commented on the fact that his aftershave smelt nice. I ended up getting very drunk and had to go to the bathroom to be sick. While I was in there, this young lad popped his head round the door and asked if I was ok. He came into the huge bathroom and sat on the bath the other side of the room from me. My boyfriend came in and found the guy there and hit the roof! I had my head down the toilet for God's sake, we were hardly up to anything! Anyway he grabbed the poor lad by the throat, smacked him and then threw him down the stairs.

I'm not totally sure of what happened next, but I know that the brand new bathroom that had only just been finished was smashed to pieces and I was left cowering in the corner. I don't know how it ended either, or how I got away. Ten minutes later as I was being comforted by friends when he demanded to see me. He was trying to apologise for what had happened but, understandably, I wasn't interested and I didn't want to talk to him. He became angrier and angrier because I wouldn't listen and, stood right there with mutual friends either side of me, he head butted me in the face.