1993 - 1994 A second Chance

I was lucky. He missed my nose. I had a split lip though, that swelled and bruised a treat. I was also covered in massive bruises on my arms and legs. My father apologised! He didn't like him all along, but as I have said before he didn't want to interfere and wanted me to learn for myself. He didn't know this was going to happen though of course, or he would have said something. My father didn't need to apologise for anything, he was there to pick me up and that is what mattered.

I went to see my boyfriend the next day. I was afraid of how he would react but I wanted him to see what he had done to me. He could obviously see my face and I stripped off to show him the extent of the bruising. He was horrified. He was hugely remorseful and even cried. He promised that he would stop drinking so much and maybe get help with his jealousy and anger. I have to admit that he was very sorry and a complete state, but not nearly as much as me. We split up, but I continued to see him and his friends. We managed to maintain a reasonable friendship and enjoyed eachother's company without the complications of a relationship.

One Wednesday, in December , I had a huge row with my mother. I don't remember what it was about, but we clashed a lot. By the Saturday I had moved out. My first home was a bedsit in the town. It was a fair size room with a double bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers, a table and chairs, a little sofa, and a sink and mini oven thing. The shared shower room and toilet was just outside my room. It wasn't much but it was mine. I could smoke in it, drink in it and come in whenever I wanted. It was a five minute walk from work and the same into town. It was also right next to a 24hr Esso garage, so there were always fags, day or night.

I also started to help out in the pub that my exboyfriend and I drank in, a couple nights a week. Our relationship strengthened and I decided to give it another go. Then one night he came back to the pub pissed, after having been to a cider farm with a friend. Cider was one of things he just shouldn't have drunk. I could see something in his eyes that scared me. I know should have waited until he was sober, but I suddenly had this need to get away. At the end of my shift I told him it was over, I couldn't carry on with the fear of something kicking off every time he had a drink. He followed me out to the car park, grabbed me by the throat and pushed me backwards over the roof of my car. I was begging him not to hurt me as he raised his fist. Then something seemed to click in his head and he let me go. He turned his attentions on my car instead and gave it a good kicking as I got in it and tried to drive away. He was trying to smash the windows with his fists.

A couple of days later I went to see him to see if he would pay for the damage to my car. The reaction I got this time was completely different. I'm guessing he now knew that he wouldn't get me back again. He ran out of the house threatening me and I had to jump in my car and drive away. I broke off all contact after that and haven't seen him since. I continued to work at the pub but he started drinking elsewhere.